Curry Shop Shimizu. Don’t let the pedestrian name lull you into a false sense of security – this place serves up some Fear Factor level stuff, and by that I mean curry that tastes like literal shit.
Now how would anyone know what real poop tastes like, you ask. Well, the owner of the place, Ken Shimizu, isn’t just anyone. The legendary porn star, more popularly known as Shimiken, is Japan’s AV industry’s hardest working man, having personally slid his sausage into thousands of young hot buns over a long and illustrious career spanning over a decade and is still going strong.
But getting in the industry wasn’t easy – his first job had him eating a pile of steaming human turds on camera for a measly 100 dollars. So if anyone knows what a real brown loaf tastes like, it’s Shimiken. And you know what, I’ll just take his word on this one.
Nothing can really prepare you for the stench that socks you in the face as soon as you open the door. On the way here, I was thinking to myself, “It can’t be that bad, right?” But I was so, so very wrong. Imagine chunky diarrhea straight from satan’s unwashed ass. Then imagine something ten times worse.
They only serve one dish here – the poop curry. It’s like a casino where the only game inside is craps. Choose a size, from small to large, and then watch as the sloppy brown mess is served to you on a dish that resembles a squat toilet. YUM YUM.
If you order the large and manage to somehow finish it without throwing up last weeks breakfast, you’ll get a special sticker with a cute squirting dick to commemorate what will probably be the greatest achievement of your life. Then the dude behind the counter will take your picture and slap it on the wall of fame with other fellow super shit-eaters.
So of course Stu and Chris went for it.
It was like watching a scene from Saw, where the victims are forced to choose between eating shit or dying a gruesome death. Only, these guys did it by choice. Monsters. Did they succeed? Watch their videos to find out:
In short? Yeah, they did it. They gobbled down that gloop like Fatty McGee at a 1 hour buffet.
Surprisingly, the main ingredients in poop curry are actually pretty healthy: Bitter gourd, carrots, onions and senburi tea. The stuff that gives it its, ahem, unique taste is fermented fish and fish guts. Or at least that’s what they say. I wouldn’t be surprised if Shimiken actually squats over the pots every morning to deliver the secret sauce.
Conclusion: If you like living on the edge, the novelty of this place might make it worth a visit. Everyone else should avoid this place like they would a pile of poop on the street. We can only hope that this isn’t the start of some larger culinary movement.
“Bring a spare change of clothes. No, really. We walked out smelling like we just showered in poop. Our hair, t-shirts, bags – everything – smelled like Eau de Turd and stayed on for the whole day.”
Big thanks to Stu, the brave soul who organised our visit to the shop, Kasia for the fine company and Chris for inviting us. They say that it’s the company and not the food that makes a good meal – it was the best shittiest day one could ask for.
B1-A Joy Park Chitose Funabashi, 1-1-17 Funabashi, Setagaya, Tokyo
Chitose Funabashi Station (Odakyu line)
Lunch 11.30am – 2.30pm
Dinner 6.00pm – 11.00pm
1,000 – 2,000 Yen (budget an additional 200 Yen for a barf bag)