We Eat Poop Curry So You Don’t Have To

poop curry japan 1

Into the bowels we go

Curry Shop Shimizu. Don’t let the pedestrian name lull you into a false sense of security – this place serves up some Fear Factor level stuff, and by that I mean curry that tastes like literal shit.

 

poop curry japan 2

Getting in the mood

Now how would anyone know what real poop tastes like, you ask. Well, the owner of the place, Ken Shimizu, isn’t just anyone. The legendary porn star, more popularly known as Shimiken, is Japan’s AV industry’s hardest working man, having personally slid his sausage into thousands of young hot buns over a long and illustrious career spanning over a decade and is still going strong.

But getting in the industry wasn’t easy – his first job had him eating a pile of steaming human turds on camera for a measly 100 dollars. So if anyone knows what a real brown loaf tastes like, it’s Shimiken. And you know what, I’ll just take his word on this one.

 

poop curry japan 23

A comfy corner for you to chill out. Because everyone wants to spend ALL DAY in here

poop curry japan 22

That on the left is the VIP seat. It costs an extra 500 Yen. I’m not kidding

Nothing can really prepare you for the stench that socks you in the face as soon as you open the door. On the way here, I was thinking to myself, “It can’t be that bad, right?” But I was so, so very wrong. Imagine chunky diarrhea straight from satan’s unwashed ass. Then imagine something ten times worse.

 

poop curry japan 3

I called it! They use Creap here for the coffee

Other places have fire extinguishers, this place has Febreeze

poop curry japan 4

Bet no one believes him when he says he has a really shitty job

poop curry japan 5

Texture? NAILED IT

poop curry japan 19

The presentation is tops. Love the little splotches on the toilet rim

They only serve one dish here – the poop curry. It’s like a casino where the only game inside is craps. Choose a size, from small to large, and then watch as the sloppy brown mess is served to you on a dish that resembles a squat toilet. YUM YUM.

 

poop curry japan 6

Cheers! (That senburi tea tasted like stomach acid BTW)

poop curry japan 8

Stu and Chris ordered the large poops and look a little too happy about it

poop curry japan 12

I have many life regrets

If you order the large and manage to somehow finish it without throwing up last weeks breakfast, you’ll get a special sticker with a cute squirting dick to commemorate what will probably be the greatest achievement of your life. Then the dude behind the counter will take your picture and slap it on the wall of fame with other fellow super shit-eaters.

So of course Stu and Chris went for it.

 

poop curry japan 10

Chris slurping up that brown gravy

poop curry japan 9

IT’S SO GOOD!

It was like watching a scene from Saw, where the victims are forced to choose between eating shit or dying a gruesome death. Only, these guys did it by choice. Monsters. Did they succeed? Watch their videos to find out:

 

Stu:

Chris:

Kasia:

In short? Yeah, they did it. They gobbled down that gloop like Fatty McGee at a 1 hour buffet.

 

poop curry japan 15

Butt licking good

poop curry japan 16

The shit eating grins of champions

Surprisingly, the main ingredients in poop curry are actually pretty healthy: Bitter gourd, carrots, onions and senburi tea. The stuff that gives it its, ahem, unique taste is fermented fish and fish guts. Or at least that’s what they say. I wouldn’t be surprised if Shimiken actually squats over the pots every morning to deliver the secret sauce.

 

poop curry japan 20

The secret ingredients

poop curry japan 14

Cute camo poopy is full of lies

poop curry japan 21

Point card! Eat 20, get a mystery prize. ER NO THANKS

Conclusion: If you like living on the edge, the novelty of this place might make it worth a visit. Everyone else should avoid this place like they would a pile of poop on the street. We can only hope that this isn’t the start of some larger culinary movement.

 

WOW

“Bring a spare change of clothes. No, really. We walked out smelling like we just showered in poop. Our hair, t-shirts, bags – everything – smelled like Eau de Turd and stayed on for the whole day.”

Big thanks to Stu, the brave soul who organised our visit to the shop, Kasia for the fine company and Chris for inviting us. They say that it’s the company and not the food that makes a good meal – it was the best shittiest day one could ask for.


INFO

Address
B1-A Joy Park Chitose Funabashi, 1-1-17 Funabashi, Setagaya, Tokyo

Get there
Chitose Funabashi Station (Odakyu line)

Hours
Lunch 11.30am – 2.30pm
Dinner 6.00pm – 11.00pm

Budget
1,000 – 2,000 Yen (budget an additional 200 Yen for a barf bag)

Website
curryshopshimizu.com

Map

You might also like

  • Kimberly Hii

    “Slid his sausage into young hot buns” Loved that bit.

    • Haha thanks Kimberly, writing the article was a lot more fun than doing the field research. 😛

  • Superalias

    The toilet / poo theme itself isn’t new; it’s been done at least once before, several years back in Taiwan.

    Still, the particular menu concoctions, and the porn connection, may give this one a new twist…

    • I heard that Shimiken plans to shut it down after a year, so there’s only one way to find out if it’s really the shit (although you might just want to take our word for it.)

  • I appreciate that you went so we don’t have to. And your clothes smelled like poop after? That’s like the crappy gift that keeps on giving.

    • Gah, the smell afterwards was quite something. Turns out the Febreeze on
      the counter was there for a reason!

  • paul wood

    i wonder what the special prize you get for eating 20

Share This

Share this post with your friends!